Mushroom 🍄 Trippin’ for the Solar ☀️ Eclipse 🌑

Sunday April 7, 2024 I went on my second journey with mushrooms. Seeking a spiritual experience, not a healing one. But they go hand in hand. Mushrooms are medicine at the end of the day. And they have a mind of their own. They take you where you need to go…

*POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING. I am a survivor of multiple sexual assaults and domestic violence survivor. The experiences I share are meant to inspire.

*Let me add a disclaimer now; I DO NOT suggest anyone take a psilocybin trip without proper research and support. I have been in therapy for Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD) for 7 years. I was on medications for years before weening off to be more all natural. Being in therapy is great and I will continue to talk to a professional about my healing process but I also had been researching psychedelic therapies for years and talking to my therapist about it because it just seems like I can’t completely heal the wound that…sexual trauma has caused. Ok,…hear we go…I guess the disclaimer is done…side note, I am aware that I use different (incorrect) forms of words but I trust that I am channeling my thoughts the way they need to be written.

I was about to write very technically when I first started this but then when I stopped to write the disclaimer…I started to go somewhere else. I am going to trust that the Divine is speaking through me the way the message needs to be explored…

“Being in therapy is great and I will continue to talk to a professional about my healing process but I also had been researching psychedelic therapies for years and talking to my therapist about it because it just seems like I can’t completely heal the wound that”…My mom has alwaze told me I never could remember things about my childhood. (Just Breathe Bi**h…) I still don’t remember much. I often have to ask of the details like dates when things happened but no matter how many times I ask I still don’t hold on to the memory or information. For instance we moved from my birth place to Virginia I think before I turned 4,…which would be…1986…August maybe. I’m never sure of my recollection.

But I have remembered a reoccurring childhood dream…a robber coming in my room at night…alwaze through the window.

…Since being in therapy I have thought about that dream…what could it have meant. Inside my body and mind I had ideas…but never wanting to see,…the truth…maybe. (Whewwww…just breathe…)

I was about to cite another…googling “childhood trauma memory.” I only read a little and was starting to feel nauseous. I am hearing, “speak from your experience,…you don’t need validation. Your experience was real. It is more comfortable to deny the truth…”

This is very uncomfortable for me…the moon is now 2* degrees Taurus. Taurus rules the throat. My Chiron (the wounded healer) is in Taurus. Bringing the unconscious to the surface for healing, “but that can only happen when you speak your truth.” “Your experiences are real…don’t deny them dear one.” “When you deny them you deny that little girl that lost her ability to speak.”

Before I jumped on here I pulled cards, just been somewhat in a dissociative episode since Monday. (Today is Tuesday April 9, 2024. Currently 1155…of course it is. IYKYK 15, 9/15 @ 215…). I pulled the Sacred Self Care cards by Jill Pyle. I only take cards that come out on their own…1st card out Journal. I felt I needed to “journal” here. That’s what this space is for. To completely be me. Express myself the way I need to. Like the magic mushrooms, let the writing be the medicine that takes you where you need to go.

…I did 3 doses and documented through recording the experience. Most of the time I don’t know why I am pushed spiritually to do the things I do but I know it’s necessary.

Saturday my homegirl hit me up to walk the Noland Trail in our city of Newport News. We had no plans no intention just get outside. We ended up walking the entire trail. So many messages received. Many messages in “no turning back,” “keep moving forward.” We had already discussed partaking in the mushroom chocolates I got last year for the New Moon Solar Eclipse, but we really wanted the real deal mushrooms. While we were on our work, as Divine timing works, I get a message from my homeboy and he, after sometime decided to get some magic mushrooms. We were excited and I was a little scared my last and first trip I was alone and out of town. Although it was a beautiful process it was also very intense, as I had just assisted my Godmother transition to the other side so I grieved uncontrollably. She was with me during the whole thing and the angels surrounded me. I really wanted this new experience to not be so emotional but once again the medicine takes you where you need to go. Also keep in mind the Eclipse was also conjunct Chiron. I knew that healing was going to be a major part of my journey.

We did 3 doses. First dose we did .7 grams made as a tea that we set intentions with. We drank the tea pretty quickly, swallowing all the mushroom pieces. Our cups were empty by 1550 (350p). We put on Matilda, talked & laughed A LOT. I didn’t realize that the messages that were coming through were building a foundation for where I was going. We took notice to the messages I was receiving. We had the first dose with a dandelion (lion/ Leo moon) tea and pineapple tea with a little honey. We intentionally went to the store to get dandelion tea and some other items. In my Herbal Astology deck by Adriana Ayales, Dandelion came out which in this deck was connected to Chiron. So I knew I needed to have dandelion in the mix.

…Dandelion diuretic, so we were constantly going to the bathroom…(breathe…). “Messages in the bathroom.”

I dont like this…I dont want to write this… “They’re just memories…” “It’s okay.” “Your body is just remembering.”

I went from being able to go to the bathroom with the door closed to needing to have the door open…

1st dose lots of laughing but I couldn’t stop crying…I thought they were happy tears…laughing to disguise the sad tears. Can’t laugh out loud. “Why do laugh silently?” (Whew…breathe…my stomach…releasing gas all of sudden…). “You dont have to be quiet…” Release control. “Friend I am watching you pick yourself apart…”

@ 1750 (550pm) we had plateaued. I had a terrible headache. I recommend having headache medicine on deck. Stay hydrated with water. At 550pm we ate another .7 grams raw to see how that would do. I am starting to have a blank…I think I will wrap…

I think we did the 3rd dose at 2150 (950pm). I took some Tylenol. This time we did the tea again at 1.5 grams. Doubled up. The mushroom pieces were bigger so had to eat them.

… “messages in the bathroom…” “scared to go to the bathroom” “I dont want to” “I’m scared” I couldn’t close the door. I needed to know my friend was right there. “It’s okay.” “It’s just your body remembering.” It’s okay.” “Just breathe.” …(currently feeling nauseous again…) I was a little girl again… “I don’t like it. I don’t like it.” “I dont want to see.” “Please no.”

I dont know how long it took but…I took the bathroom back…I think that is all for now.

Overall I am super proud of myself. There is alwaze more work to be done but little by little. Yes I would do it again. I would luv to get into a MAPS (Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies) study. I just really feel like I need something else to heal some of the deeper traumas I have blocked from consciousness. I believe, actually I know some of it is ancestral healing. Healing my bloodline down to the molecular structure. Like they say, “Generational trauma doesn’t heal until someone is willing to heal it.”

This Ramadan is my second in adulthood and it was…life changing. Alhamduillah 🤲🏽.

I am spiritual not necessarily religious but I do classify as a Muslim AND a Christian. But I walk my own path with respect to all walks.